Sunday night rehearsal at Lennon is always a big
barrel of fun.
If you consider being surrounded on all sides by pitiful U2 cover bands to be a rollicking good
time, that is.
There are at least two, possibly three different U2 cover bands that tend to rehearse at the same
time as we do. Tonight I will focus on the one who
usually takes the room closest to our Lucky Room 7, because they're the ones we can hear while
we're breaking.
OK, I realize that Radiohead has inspired an entire generation of U2 cover bands to think they're
the greatest thing since sliced bread. But see, Radiohead got famous because they write good
songs. They went beyond Bono, so to speak. They branched out. You, dearest and closest U2 cover
band, should also branch out. You should write some of your own songs. Perhaps you are not ready
to do this. I know myself that it is a daunting task. But once you get one down the rest are
easy. You don't even have to write GOOD songs, because anything else you play at this point, no
matter how shitty, has got to beat constantly playing "With or Without You".
If you are not willing to entertain the idea of writing your own songs, and decide that being a
U2 cover band is where the money's at and it's really What You Want to Do, then you should
probably know two things. One is that U2 tunes their guitars down a half-step from normal. It'd
probably be easier for you to play their songs if you figured this out. And it would undoubtedly
be easier for your singer. Which brings me to my second thing: Your singer couldn't carry a tune
in a bucket. Hearing him strain so hard to hit every one of Bono's high notes, and FAILING EVERY
TIME is like torture to anyone with a sense of pitch. If you saw how often we cringe at his
failure to actually hit any of the proper notes in the song, you would understand why you must
immediately get yourself a new singer. Hell, I'm not employed, and I can do a mean Bono
impersonation. I'll fucking sing for you. I've got time for two projects, especially if you're
the type of cover band that is currently making money.
Who am I to tell you that you suck? I'm the girl in the band across the hall. The band that has
never ever played a single cover song. The band with the singer that can hit all the notes, or
can at least hear when she's hit the wrong ones and correct herself accordingly. You might think
that my smugness is palpable, but I'm only smug because we rock so goddamn much. The end.