...So ends the first week of serious guitar searching. I'm having issues and angst about not being good enough to pick up a guitar again after so long without one in my hands. I get weird like that. I'm too shy to pick up a guitar in the store and play it because a) I don't want to be like those wanks who think that everyone in the store wants to listen to their mediocre blues licks and the intro to Stairway over and over again and b) I'm never good enough at what I do to please myself. I could be the best guitar player on earth and still have issues about playing in front of other people. It seems to only affect me during activities I enjoy. Like, I can flat out say that I rock web design/development like nobody else, mostly because I've been doing it so damn long I could probably do it in my sleep. I no longer get much enjoyment out of it, and I'm always searching for the easy way out. Like using blogger instead of writing my own script to do the same thing. But when it comes to playing the guitar, or art, or writing, I have serious inadequacy issues that I really need to overcome if I ever want to get past a certain point, and that point is 'slightly better than adequate, I think I'll stop now'. So I'm thinking maybe this weekend I'll grow some balls and go in and play the damn thing and see if it's really the one I want or if i'm just deluding myself into buying it because I'm tired of looking and I just want this all to be over and have an instrument in my hands again, making music and feeling so much better about my life.

In other news, I really wish my subconscious would go and take a hike.