Practice tonight, and a new song, same deal as the last one, even if the transitions are a little rough. Two notes, I picked the lyrics, instant song, world without end, amen.
Highlights from last night:
"Could we get some static up in here? This is our camera crew. We just hired them five minutes ago!"
"This room is small. Everyone can hear everything you say, INCLUDING ME, and I AM ON STAGE!"
"Oh, my god! The drummer doesn't have his grown-up nose yet! It's so cute!"
Rachel: "I'm on drugs!"
Friend of Ally: "Oh really? What kind?"
Me: "Not the good ones, unfortunately!"
Friend of Ally: "Are you looking? Really? I'm only kidding a little bit!"
HifiChris: "We can't go on yet. It's only like 10:30."
DJ: "Chris, the crowd wants us to go on."
HifiChris: "Fuck the crowd. We don't care about the crowd. When have we EVER fucking cared about the crowd?"
"Everybody has to buy Tyler a shot because he's getting married tomorrow."
Lisa: "Cuz you know, there is a lot more to life than rock shows."
Me: "There is? Are you sure about that?"
Ben: "Where is Chris?"
Devin: "I think I saw him down at the bar."
Conan: "Oh my god! Someone stole him! His shoes are still here! Someone stole Chris!"
"Ladies and Gentlemen: Ben Adrian, One-Man-Band!"
"Well, in case you didn't already know, we're (scans crowd) ... oh, fuck it, you all already know. And we're from Oakland, California."
Ben: "Devin! You do the honors!"
Devin: "Bagawk!"
"Welcome to our practice. See, this is just like our practice. Except we charged you all money to get in."
RepliChris: "I don't wanna do that one. Let's do 'Epoch'."
Conan: "Oh, come on, Chris, that one's only a minute and a half. Everyone call Chris a pussy if he won't do the new song!"
Crowd: "PUSSY!"
RepliChris: "Oh, fuck you ALL. AND SUCK MY...dick."
HifiChris: "Dear GOD, Conan, you're all sweaty."
Lisa: "Yeah, and I have to sleep with him every night. Imagine what I feel."
HifiChris: "Well, I've never had his cock inside me so I wouldn't know."
Lisa: "OK, there's a line. And you just crossed it."
Ben: "Oh, come on, Lisa, we all know you like the COCK."
HifiChris: "Why don't you show us yours, Ben?"
(Ben whips it out)
Lela: "Ben, I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing your weiner."
HifiChris: "As long as we're showin', look at my pubes! They're red!"
And then tonight:
Me: "Chris TOTALLY got a handful of my boob last night when he did that stage dive thing."
Bee: "I think that was the point, holmes. It looked intentional from where I was standing."
Me: "Well, you know me. I don't mind. My breasts are for sharing."
Bee: "I think Marx said something about that."
Me: "What? From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs? Cuz I got the ability."
Bee: "No, It's totally fucked up that one segment of society controls all access to lactation."
Me: "Well, like I said, mine are for sharing. If I minded random people putting their hands on my tits, I'd be issuing a lot more beat-downs than I do. I'm just used to being groped."
while the monopoly on the access to lactation is a shame, my wife aptly points out that breast are a package deal with ovaries, and i don't think i could handle those.
just an observation
Posted by: chris on September 1, 2002 12:08 AM